#8 CONFRONT REALITY

Facing our realities is often a very big problem for many of us. Most people live in denial regarding some subjects or some issues in their lives. Some people live in a little denial while others live in denial allot. It is not possible to get better and grow in those areas where we are living in denial. We first have to CONFRONT REALITY and see things as they are, see ourselves as we are or we will make very little progress. 

NEVER make it personal. You want to confront issues head on before they become major problems but you want to confront the reality, not the person. 

A true Leader is courageous, you have to have the courage to address the tough stuff directly, the things that often just go unspoken. The unspoken is DISHONEST so one cannot have a TRUTH environment when there are things that go ignored, that go unspoken, that are there but not acknowledged. Don't skirt the real issues and don't bury your head in the sand or let others bury their head in the sand either. 

Find the way to avoid blame, avoid it being personal, but get it into the light of day. You will be respected for doing this and the quality of the relationships with which you deal will improve because FACING REALITY is a central issue to TRUTH.

STEPS TO TAKE TO GETTING BETTER

#7 Getting Better is so important I thought I should expand on this step. I thought it was important to review steps you can take to getting better.

You have to ask those with whom you want to build a solid relationship based on TRUTH questions like:

• How am I doing now for you? 
• Where can I get better? What can I do to be better for you as your ____________?
• To improve things between us and for the business (or family or relationship) what specifically do we need to do better? (systems, structures, processes, communications, time, information)
• How are we doing?
• On an HONEST scale of 1-10 how likely are you to recommend me and our Company (or family) to others who are looking for the very best to become associated.

Building genuine TRUST has dividends to individuals, relationships and organizations. What is the Trust Dividend if we make the improvements we are discussing? What are the real benefits? This is a question all stakeholders should answer as it will tell everyone the VALUE in this process of getting better and being honest about what needs to change and where improvements are possible.

Conversely, one can take a look at the liabilities of not pursuing HONEST, open discussion about the relationships and the processes and the systems and not ACTING on the learning and discoveries. What will it cost to not pursue GETTING BETTER using the Built In Systems you have created for the business, your work, your relationships with family or friends for improvement?

Don't let this opportunity slip away. Make note of this blog and the previous blog and implement it into your work life, family life and personal life --- IT WILL HAVE POWERFUL PAY BACK FOR YOU IF YOU MAKE THIS PART OF YOUR LIFE!!

GET BETTER

#7 GET BETTER is about continuously improving.   This step to greater productivity and to building on TRUTH is to acknowledge that the world is changing everyday and if we do not stay in a continuous learning mode, we will begin to slip behind and become less relevant, less valuable to those with whom we interact. 

We all need to develop systems for feedback both formal and informal to know what is happening with our families, friends, work associates and even clients. We need planned scheduled time to keep learning to keep getting better, time to read books, time to talk to people who can teach us, time to interact and LISTEN to those with whom we live and work. 

We need to thank people for the feedback we get. We need to make coworkers, family and friends comfortable with telling us the truth and helping us to see where we can improve, where things can be better. 

Then we must ACT ON THE FEEDBACK. ACTION is critical for unemployed learning is of no impact or benefit. So we want to keep learning and keep taking action on what we learn.

KNOW your knowledge and skills will not be sufficient for the challenges you will face in the future. KNOW you have to stay relevant, stay in tune with change and keep improving, keep GETTING BETTER. 

#6 DELIVER RESULTS

It needs to be clear what is expected of you. If you are not sure, you must ask those to whom you report as you want to know very clearly what your goals are, what the targets are that are expected of you and your team. Even in personal relationships it would be good to know what your friends or family members really expect from you so you are CLEAR AS TO WHAT NEEDS TO BE DELIVERED. So often, there is a lack of mutual understanding between people as to what is expected and so often people are disappointed in other people's performance when it is really about lack of clear communications and clear understandings.

What you want to do is to be ALWAYS RELIABLE. You want to establish a track record of delivering results and of EXCEEDING EXPECTATIONS. At Integrity First Mortgage Solutions this is a cornerstone of our business. We work hard to OVER-DELIVER. This is how we build client loyalty and continuous referrals. It has served us very well. 

What people say who are focused on Delivering Results:

• What specific results are we (or I) expected to deliver? When are the results expected?
• What will success look like or how will success be measured?
• We (I) cannot try, we must do!
• Our (My) goal is to be ahead of schedule and under budget - exceeding expectations.
• We (I) need to measure our (my) performance day by day so we (I am) are sure we (I am) are on track to meet our (my or the) goals.

#6 Deliver results is from S.R. Covey's book THE SPEED OF TRUST, really worth reading.

#5 SHOW LOYALTY

Give credit to others. Speak well of others. Avoid gossip and avoid speaking poorly of others. Always question your intentions.  What is it you want to accomplish in this conversation? What is the impressions you want to make? What is IMPORTANT and NECESSARY to be talking about? Show your LOYALTY to those who work above you, those who work with you or those who report to you. 

LOYALTY is such an important factor in a relationship and when you demonstrate it and live by it, you will be setting a standard for those with whom you interact. Much of life is "Monkey see, Monkey Do" especially in work organizations and especially with young children in families. You want to set the standards by your own behavior showing others how it is with you and how you would like it to be with everyone. 

Behavior #4 RIGHT WRONGS

Continuing with S.R. Covey's Book "The Speed of Trust" http://tinyurl.com/94peytn the fourth behavior to bring trust into an organization or a relationship is to make things right when you are wrong. When you make a mistake say so, demonstrating that even you, the leader, are not perfect and  you are humble enough to say so when you know you have made a mistake or erred. Watch out for Pride. You want to be HONEST and you want to establish TRUST and there is no better way to ask others to be honest and admit to their short comings or mistakes than you doing so too. 

What people way who want to RIGHT WRONGS;

• This is my fault
• I apologize for ........
• I was wrong about ...........
• What can I do to make things right?
• How can we learn from this situation?
• What do you think I could have done differently?
• How do we get this resolved and behind us?
• Can I follow up with you and make sure everything is on track?
• How can I help get this right?

This kind of sincerity and honesty will have a HUGE impact on a team or individual, whether at work, with friends or with family. The POWER OF TRUST is such a BIG thing. We all need to have it on our minds all the time with EVERYONE we deal with.

#3 Important Behavior -- CREATE TRANSPARENCY

S.R. Covey's book THE SPEED OF TRUST http://tinyurl.com/94peytn  is a wonderful source for meaningful information for building an organization or relationships that allows the organization or individuals to ACHIEVE PEAK PERFORMANCE and build on quality relationships. 

Behavior #3 CREATE TRANSPARENCY is about being OPEN and AUTHENTIC. Avoid hidden agendas and put forth all necessary information, so people know they can TRUST YOU. Err on the side of disclosure regardless of the potential outcome. People will appreciate you and will be comfortable with you because they will know that what they see is what they will get when it comes to you. Declare what you are about and then live it in all you do.

People who are transparent say things like:

• My agenda is
• My intentions are
• These are the hard facts
• Feel free to disagree with me on this
• Things are not going well right now
• I know this is not what you want
• The outcome I have in mind is

THE SPEED OF TRUST contributes to the speed of success. It has worked well for me and I am sure it will work well for you.